Tales from the Ticket Counter – The Car in The Trees
In my earlier post of Get Me to the Gate On Time, we talked a little about airline operations and the importance of those operations sticking to their schedules. Working at the ticket counter, I heard all kinds of stories explaining why people were late, missing their flights. As I implied in that posting, “my car had a flat tire” was, by far, the most common story told. I can’t know how many of those passengers were telling the truth, but, statistically, there’s no way all of them could have been. Oh, how I wanted someone to tell me something different – just for the entertainment value! I dreamt of hearing stories of lost keys, escapee gerbils, or burnt toast resulting fire department visits. Alas, I just got the old “flat tire” story time and again - until one day, that is.
After the departure of our last flight out of Jackson to Dallas one evening, a man (who turned out to be a forester) walked up to the counter and asked me to “please tell (him) that (his) flight had been delayed.” It hadn’t been, but he had that my-day-can’t-get-any-worse look to him; so, I asked to see his ticket. Now let me say that my father is also a forester; so, there is a soft spot in my heart for men in the forest products industry and I wanted to help the guy. He said that he knew that he had missed his flight, but asked if there was anything we could do to help him. He proceeded, then, to tell me why he had missed his flight.
Minus scotch and cigar, but in Ron White fashion, he began with “you’re not going to believe this, but…” (Most good stories start out with that phrase; so, I got my mouth all set for a good one.) He had come to the Jackson area to meet with some men about a tract of land and the timber on that land. Their meeting was actually in the woods; so, he drove his rental car right in. The woods were thick with mud from recent rains, but getting there was no problem. Leaving was the problem. Sitting in one place for so long, his rental car got stuck. Great. Everyone was pushing on the car trying to get it unstuck, but, nothing. The driver got out to help, closing the door as he did. His efforts did the trick and the car started to move. The thing about that particular rental car was that when the vehicle was in gear, the doors locked automatically. He didn’t know that. He found out right about the same time the car gained traction. He pulled on the handle, but couldn’t get in. Driverless, the car kept moving. It kept right on moving, in fact, until it ran into some trees and got stuck again. Enter locksmith, wrecker and insurance claims. The last straw of his day was his missed flight and me.
No carrier had any flights departing that time of day; so, unfortunately, I couldn’t help him get home that night. I could and did put him on our first morning flight without any change fees or additional collections. Even at the ticket counter of one of the world’s largest airlines, entertainment had value.
As a adjunct college professor, I get some good ones. What is the probability that a class of 20 students would experience 4 dead grandmothers in the same 10 week course? Maybe the customers could get together and build a website to keep track of on-time and departed excuses (pun intended).